In honor of Sunstone’s 50th anniversary, I decided to put together a collection of the physical and cultural detritus that has collected in Sunstone’s office over the past few decades. But, to do so, I had to descend into the office’s bowels.

You remember that creepy basement from Heretic—that horror movie about Hugh Grant luring two missionaries into his house? Well, the setting was based on Sunstone’s basement. Just with a lot more boxes, the remains of ancient technologies, and ghosts of symposia past.

While down there, I did the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I stood in the dark and let my phone take flash pictures. That means, brothers and sisters, that I stood in absolute darkness watching my phone screen as it gathered the battery power to suddenly flash, revealing whatever was there for just the blink of an eye.

ANYTHING could have been standing there. But Satan already has my soul, so he wasn’t interested in expending any more resources on me. In fact, we know each other well enough that he rented out a bit of Outer Darkness to us for storage.

And what did I find in this maw of velvet black? Prepare yourselves, my friends.

I found … THESE.

And THESE!

But that was only the top layer of Mormon stuff we’ve collected over the years. You want it weirder? Stay tuned!