Sunstone’s first ad appeared in its first issue. And, of course, it was about Sunstone, advertising our second Mormon history calendar. A mere five dollars! We have an original shrink-wrapped copy preserved behind bullet-proof glass in the Sunstone office.
Issue two was ad-free.
But issue three really got going with four ads.
The first one was Mormonism’s version of those Columbia House record club ads from the 1980s. You know, where they’d send you 12 free albums for just one penny! And you got to stick little stamps of the albums you wanted on the postcard? You just had to commit to buying a whole bunch more albums at inflated prices over the next few years? But this was even better! You get to buy Mormon books! And the first offering was This Nation Under God, by Sterling Sill, who was an assistant to the Twelve for many years.
So that’s how we started out: a Columbia House-style book club selling the books of general authorities. We were so orthodox back then!
The next ad in that issue was for the Latter-day Scriptures ECONOQUAD four-in-one scripture cassette tape combination. Masterfully narrated by Dr. Lael J. Woodbury. I actually know him. He married my grandfather’s sister. (Dean of the BYU Fine Arts Department for a while. Great guy) Note that it says “includes new scriptures” in the Pearl of Great Price. I’ll bet the ECONOQUAD pretty annoyed a few years later when the Church moved those sections over to the Doctrine and Covenants.
And then, mark this my friends, Deseret Book advertised in our hallowed pages!
But so did—bwah bwah bwah!—the University of Utah Press, which dared suggest in one of its books, in 1976, that the Church should revise its policy on Blacks and the priesthood.
And then, in issue 4, a book containing the work of scholars that would help define the next fifty years of Mormon history writing.
And don’t forget the Mormon History Calendar! Now in a lovely burnt orange to match your kitchen linoleum.
Not to be outdone by the ECONOQUAD, Grant and Son, Inc., advertised another collection of scriptures on tape. Masterfully narrated by Paul F. Royall. Though, as you can see, if you lived in Utah, you had to pay more.
And, since you’re a good Mormon woman, living up to the celestial standards of beauty, you will want to join the Neo Life Beautiful Face and Figure program. Complete with hi-protein milkshakes for proper weight control and Gloda’s exclusive Swedish skin care program. (I don’t know. Gloda doesn’t sound like a Mormon name to me. Maybe LaGlodaVerne.)
And now, with you face and figure in order, your skin shining like the northern lights, you can become a distributor for Noah’s Ark Foods Canning Corp. With monthly distributor awards, prizes, trips, cash! And only a minimum investment.
Still have time and money on your hands? Want to prepare for the end of the world? Become a dealer for Mill and Mix Company and sell flour mills and food dehydrators to your ward members. They’ll be so excited when you invite them to a dehydration demonstration!
Or dramatized Book of Mormon tapes! Masterfully narrated by more than 100 actors.
What on Earth could have made Sunstone publish this irreverent cartoon?
