The Sixteenth-Note Panic, or Afraid of My Own Shadow Fear and its accompanying anxiety have been my life-long companions. Fear to speak up; fear that I’m not good enough; fear of failure; fear of being honest; fear of non-acceptance; fear of identifying and facing my fears; and fear of my shadow side. These were vague discomforting underlying fears until I saw them magnified in my performance of music. Then I became determined to overcome my fears and shadowy habits. As I have worked on the musical issues, I have become more confident in other areas of my life and have learned to speak up and say what I honestly think, no longer hiding. My music has become deeper, more expressive, and infinitely more satisfying. Integrating our shadow with our light brings about spiritual growth and a joyous discovery of self. I’ll play several pieces that illustrate my development, ending with the Albinoni Adagio.

Phyllis Baker